"Get outa town!": A Hap-chance Halloween(ie) Weekend- Part Three

and so it continues....

Saturday

The only thing sadder than having a hangover is what a person with the hangover thinks they have the strength to do.

Nonetheless, I bucked up and summoned up the only kind of strength available to me at the moment: That which is used to eat awesome blossoms and huge steaks.

Now, I rarely go to Outback Steakhouse back home, even though there is one located not more than 5 minutes from my house. So, under any normal circumstances, I would have waved it off... Pish-posh!

BUT... In Korea... Even in a big city like Daegu... there are NO normal circumstances. And MAN, you would thought we were some kids in a candy store... We were that excited!

Awesome blossom, warm bread &butter, rice that actually has flavor, real french fries, veggies soaked in butter, and steaks... Big, Heaping, (mostly) Raw STEAKS!

Even though I was so full I thought I was about to be sick, I kept on eating because I didn't want to glory to end... the great, western food glory.

But, as all things come to and end, so did we get the hell Out(a)back and spent the rest of the day shopping! Well, actually only myself and a friend braved the bustling and maze-like shopping streets of downtown. Kyle and a friend went to what seemed like a really cool medicine market. But go look at this blog if you want details!

Four hours of shopping later we made it back to ZOOOO4 to get ready for the Halloween party.

Saturday Night

One of the many celebrations I dearly miss from home is that spooky fav: Halloween (or Halloweenie if you're Korean). Some people hate it, but I love it.

Unfortunately, most Koreans have no idea what it is at all. Thus, there no variety of Halloween goods available. Ok, there was one place in Daegu we found that had costumes... for prices I was not willing to pay...

So, call us lame, call us lazy... But don't EVER say I won't dress up for Halloween.

Kyle and I reincarnated a costume classic... and no, the razor blade was WAY to big to fit in my suitcase!

That's right! Chicken and Cat, a.k.a COCK & PUSSY!!! For some reason though, not as many people got it as easily as back home... And these were fellow foreigners. Hmm... I guess I am from the Dirty (-minded) South.

I brought my cat mask from home for that "just in case" scenario. Kyle bought a raggedy chicken mask from a costume shop in Daegu and we were good to go!

Unfortunately we were not original enough to win the costume contest at the bar we went to, but strangely enough, even the costumes I thought we the most hilarious didn't win either. My favorites were "One Night Stand": a girl with a "lamp shade" on her head and a pizza box top made into a night stand with random things on it including a "used" condom; and "A Korean Couple": a couple dressed in exactly the same his and hers clothes, shoes and hair style who would make a heart with their arms when asked what they were. Brilliant.

Of course, I am glad that my friend "The Ballerina" won the first prize because she actually used something called her imagination and made it herself... CRAZY!

After boozing around at a couple more bars, talking (or trying anyway) to some dear friends back home, and dealing with a drunk and rather annoying Kiwi guy, we finally head back to ZOOOO4 and passed out.

Sunday

Our plan was to get up early on Sunday and see a little bit more of Daegu, but as many plans that are made while intoxicated... they fell through. We did, however, get up early enough to go to Starbucks (again) and Burger King before we had to haul as to the airport to make our flight.

Even though the above even grosses me a bit, it was SO worth it.

Sunday Afternoon

Sometimes life throws you the most hilarious things your way. And what else can you do but laugh until you possibly pee your pants...?

After we arrived back in Jeju, coming out of the airport, we saw an advertisement for something very intriguing: The World Bodybuilding Champiobships.

Yes. You did read that correctly.

And yes... We did drop our things back at our apartment, freshened up and cabbed it to the Halla stadium where the championships were being held.

Never being to any bodybuilding event ever in my life, I had no idea what to expect. Neither did Kyle or our Australian friend, Doug. But even with an admission fee of 10,000 won ($10) we knew we HAD to go in... We knew it would be worth it.

Luckily we were just on time for the excessively long opening ceremony that is standard at any event in Korea or hosted by Koreans.

Lady Luck seemed to be in a mischevious mood that day... We sat by Team USA. It's at time like these when I am traveling that I am most embarrased to be an American... Not because Americans are notoriously loud, which is true, or because (some) Americans think the US is God... But because Team USA had the most members/supporters than any other country there.

The opening ceremony commenced with a "parade of nations... It almost seemed as if we were at the UN of bodybuilding... Almost every nation was accounted for... Even the Chinese Tampei! For some strange France was not there... Hmmm... I wonder why......

We did feel a little bad for countries like the Chinese Tampei and Panama whose bodybuilders had to carry their own country signs, whereas the other countries had a representative in a suit carry the country sign for them. Maybe the arm muscles of those bodybuilders who were not carrying their own sign, were so big that they can't hold anything for an extended period of time... Or maybe the governments of the Chinese Tampei and Panama did not have enought funds in their budgets for sign representative. Who knows...

Finally the competition started! The first weight class was 60 kilograms, or about 120 lbs. The were 9 weight classes in total.

First all the competitors came on stage for introduction. The next round consisted of individual free-style 'time', when each bodybuilder would come on stage and display their muscles in a variety of disturbing and energetic moves... My favorite move by far was a fancy upside-down spread eagle; the guy who did it didn't even get 3rd place! After the individual free styles, all the competitors would come back on stage and do required positions directed by what seemed like a very gay German judge.

What was very strange was that every bodybuilder would slather themselves in what looked gold paint. A first, and I swear I am telling the truth, I though that they all painted themselves the same color so that the tanner poeple from say-- Panama-- wouldn't out-tan people from say-- Poland. Apparently, I was wrong. As we were informed by Team USA, the bodybuilders all paint themselves up in gold to accentuate their muscles, because their muscles apparently didn't look enough like obese hamhocks already.

But really, I can honestly say I have NEVER in my life seen anything so extrodinarily strange and amusing.

NEVER.

For the most hilarious picture you have ever seen in your life, go to: http://ifbb.com/page_report.php?id=21

The most amusing part of the event was watching the Brazilian team hoot and holler in support of their teammates on stage. Nothing says I fully support my teammate like yelling "Fuck 'em in the head!" in Portuguese.

Unfortunately, we did not stay the full 4 or so hours of the entire competition to see who won the winner of the best bodybuilder in the world award... Apparently it was a guy for Poland, which frankly surprised me. I swear it would have been one of the dudes from Bahrain, which I just learned is an actual country.

Remember that phrase I wrote about in a previous blog...? O.IN.K?? Only in Korea.....

Yeah, this was DEFINITELY one of those times...

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Now, THAT was a good weekend.

p.s. Pictures coming to a FB near you.

"Get Outa Town!": A Hap-chance Halloween(ie) Weekend... Part Two

Hello again!

(Just FYI, I though it better to split up the mini-novella so as not to put whoever is reading this to tears and/or sleep.)

Friday Night

After a 45 minute flight, we arrived in Daegu and made our way to a place called Camp Walker where we were supposed to find a motel.

After a 10,000 won cab ride ($10, which is expensive for Korea), we arrived at grand ol' Camp Walker.

And by grand, I mean sketch-ville. As we found out, Camp Walker is actually a U.S. military base where "army-looking dudes" were scattered all about.

I was so unpleasantly reminded of why I infact dislike the military type so much when a "soldier" in a car told me to get my ass out of the way... Wow.

Anyway, through a grapevine of people who knew who knew people, we managed to cab it out of Sketch-ville and into civilization... Downtown!!

We got to the downtown area of Daegu and waited for some people who were kind enough to wait for us while they waited for someone they actually. And while we waited, I took it upon myself to do a little of my favorite kind of sightseeing: SHOPPING!

The first shop I saw and went it was not actually a shop at all: it was a old bus converted into a shop on the side of a very busy, wide street.

And it was awesome! But, as I didn't have too much time to browse, especially since Kyle was bugging me to hurry so we wouldn't miss the people we were looking for, so I settled on a deep teal colored hoodie that was definitely made for a Korean woman, i.e. a literal bean pole.

We finally found the people who were waiting for us and joined other friends and started our search for a place to stay.

None of us had a damn clue.

So, throwing caution to the wind, I went up to random western stranger, who seemed to be rather prevalent, for any help.

Two girls from I can't remeber actually walked us about 15 minutes to a motel called Mellow Yellow, which we later learned were actually two separate motels; Mellow Motel and Yellow Motel.

No room at the inn. Either of them.

So, we treked on and actually came across a motel called ZOOOO4... But this was no ordinary motel... It was a love motel.

Now, love motels are VERY popular in Korea. I don't know if it's the cultural concept that people should pretend sex never happens that makes these rent-by-the-hour motels so popular or the inifinite number of mirrors and porn channels.

Either or... they are hilarious.

I still cannot figure out how it relates, but ZOOOO4 Motel's rooms were named after such precious gems as the Diamond room (which had a whirlpool and a sauna), the Jade room (which had a traditional Japanese wood bath--not sure why), the Ruby room, and the Sapphire room (which had a lofted bed, Korean style= no mattress).

Out of all the amusing thing available in our precious love motel, the most amusing was a couple of Korean businessmen who shouted "Not gay!" to us as they left.

Hey, whatever floats your boat.

Later Friday Night
After getting settled at ZOOOO4, we went to look for something to fill our bellies. After deciding that Outback Steakhouse was too far away to find in our dire state of hunger, we settled on a traditional kaelbi restaurant.

After a mix of samgyeopsal, so kaelbi (beef), veggie, kimchi, beer, and soju we made our way to the first bar of the evening: Commun, A Lonely Heart.

[No joke. Daegu had some of the strangest bar names I have ever seen: The Beatles, Thunderbirds, Festival, and Commun were among the few I can remember.]

Under the steps of Commun, A Lonely Heart, we were surprised to find a bulging and intimidating foreign community. If all the foreigners that were in that bar taught in Daegu, I would've thought that English would be flowing on the streets as readily as soju!

Anyway, after a couple of drinks and watching adrunken limbo game, we headed off to Thunderbirds. Even more so than Commun, I felt immediately like I was back home at this place... Well, maybe not home, but maybe somewhere like New York City or something.

Two foreign guys manned the bar, serving the cheapest and strongest drinks I have ever had in Korea, while a guy (most likely Korean-Canadian/American) covered popular western tunes. I was utterly tickled pink when he covered some Arcade Fire tunes... Very rad.

(Btw, yes, I just said rad... I'm on a mission to bring it back! Ha!)

After most liquid fun, we stumbled back to ZOOOO4, but not before the 7 of us decided it would be a good idea to stop at the nearest Family Mart (Korean equivalent of gas station convenience stores) for some Pringles and the infamous claw-grab game. You know... the game with the metal claw that tries to grab at inane items like stuffed animals and stuff like that.

Well, this claw-grab game was better than I had ever thought possible, and I wasn't even playing! If you have never been involved in or watched a group of Scottish, Irish, Canadian, and American people play/watch this game, you have never LIVED!

The last thing I remember from Friday night?

Mirrors.

"Get Outa Town!": A Hap-chance Halloween(ie) Weekend... Part One

First I would like to say to the handful of people that actually stay tuned to my blog: I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I am so bad about writing consistently. I will be better. I promise.

(This post promises to be a mini-novella, so maybe this makes up for it.)

That being said.....

Thursday
I suppose it was last Thursday when I was chatting with my sis online when I felt it... A twinge of something. Some sort of restlessness was coming over me. Some clutching panic that this tiny little island was holding me down.

("Ain't no one ever gonna hooold meee dowwwwn... Oh yeah!" --
If anyone can tell me why that just popped in my head, and what the hell song that is, please let me know... Because I have no clue.)

N-E-way... Sis mentioned that any time she felt that way, she would go out of town. And then it hit me. It clicked.

I called Kyle up right away and said,

"Do you wanna just try and do stand-by?"

"Yeah, let's do it."

I don't remember if those were his exact words, but those were his sentiments exactly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I am getting way ahead of myself...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday
I should mention that the Monday before we had talked about going to Daegu, a big city on the mainland, for a Halloween party/EPIK Orientation 2007 reunion of sorts.

To our dismay, there were no flights available on Friday and leaving on Saturday seemed to be a waste of money to go for just one day.

Back to Thursday
After grubbin' on some Baghdad, we went home and packed for the trip that may or may not be.

Friday
All day at school I wanted to rip my skin off I was so filled with anticipation.

And when I told my main co-teacher at that school that I would be leaving early, and she asked me why, I cowered and told her that "it was personal", and left it at that.

What was I gonna do... Say , "I'm leaving early to get the eff out this place because I feel like I'm being effin' smothered to death"...?

That kind of flowery vocabulary is well beyond her understanding.

Braced with an all-or nothing, "let's take a chance!", positive attitude, I left school at 2:30 p.m. and cabbed it to Kyle's school.

[Side note that had to be included: As I waited for Kyle to slowly stroll out of his behemoth of a school, I was asked by some students if I knew Kyle... Big Mistake.

"Oh, yeah, he's my boyfriend..."

"OH! KYLE GIRLFRIEND?!?! KYLE GIRLFRIEND?!?! OHHHHH!!!

Imagine about 40-50 elementary kids swarming yelling and asking me this. Of course, it was a bit endearing since they kept telling I was beautiful over and over again. Kids are so truthful. :)]

After that spectacle, and randomly picking up our passports from our apartment (which did pay off later) we made it to the airport. We got on stand-by for a flight at 5:30... It was about 3:30.

After 2 hours of dozing off, playing Zoo Zoo Club on Kyle's phone (best game ever), we were told there were only 2 seats available... We were #12 and #13.

(We actually ran into the head of the Jeju P.O.E (Provincial Office of Education) who translated this to us.)

OH WELL... WE TRIED ALL WE COULD... NOTHING WE COULD DO... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...

Still determined to stay positive in the face of direct defeat, I decided I could still have a good weekend in town and hopefully get away next weekend or so....

Or so I thought!!!

Literally, as we were cashing in the stand-by tickets we were made to purchase before we actually got on stand-by, the head of the Jeju P.O.E. came to us and said he heard the flight had been delayed and there might be seats available now.

We asked the counter attendant if it was possible... and HOLY CANOLI... IT WAS!!

How it worked out that since the flight was delayed 15 minutes, they were suddenly 11 more seats available continues to befuddle me to this day.

Maybe it was luck, maybe it was fate... Or maybe it was staying positive and taking a chance on something that was worthwhile...

Whatever it was... We were on our way to Daegu!

Um, wow.

So.... today, a third grader in one of my classes was standing around me before class started and grabbed one of my rolls. I like to call them "insulation" rolls, but for the sake of clarity, I'll say fat rolls. Fine.

I hate to say "fat", cuz who wants to publically admit they are fat on their blog... oh, wait...

With her hand in full fat-grabbing mode, she casually and (very) subtlely, I might add, grabbed a chunk of my "insulation".

YES.

And the thing is, I was standing up, so there was nothing explicitly visible!! Sure, if I was sitting down and my rolls were out in full force, I would maybe understand....

Ok, I wouldn't understand, because that's not a normal thing to do... especially to A TEACHER.

Before I had any idea what was going on, I told her "No, don't do that", hoping that for one minute she would miraculously understand English and know to never grab Alicia Teacher's tummy again.

By the way, yes, they do call me Alicia Teaher. Except the kids say Alicia 'Son Sek Nim', which means teacher. And, yes, it is very cute.

A sweet girl from Dallas whose been here for a good while shared with me a funderful expression/acronym that takes experiences like the above to understand.

"O.IN.K"= "Only in Korea"

So, I thought I would share this short, but infinitely strange experience I had today because it directly applies. And like so MANY thing in Korea... It would only happen here.

Lean on me....

I don't think you realize what good friends are until you are away from them... Like thousands of miles away from them.

I guess here I need to say, thousands of kilometers away.

It's so easy when you're in college, living on campus, partying like frat guys, to have tons of good friends... Obviously.

But I dare each and every one of you reading this to move away from your home and try to have 30 different BFF's ... Good luck!

I don't mean to be pessimistic. I hope to encourage more people to entrust and invest their time in others that REALLY care about you. People that will still think about you and love you and shoot the shit with you from across the world.

That being said, I love my friends.

I love my friends back home. And I miss them, too. Even those people that I didn't spend as much time with as I wanted... And those people that I sometimes disagreed with... And those people that probably thought I hated them... I miss everyone.

But I'm not trying to get all sappy here... No way!

I do want to thank my friends for being wonderful and real.

Who'da Thunk....

That's right. I am an teacher of English. An English teacher.

"English-i", is what the kids call it.

Here's the kicker... I don't even teach that much. Most of what I do is have the kids repeat after me when I say something. Ok, sometimes, I teach them a few things.... like, "Yesterday was Wednesday. Today is Thursday."

This kind of "parrot-teaching", as I like to call it, really (and I STRESS really) pissed me off at first. I mean, a drunk hobo can teach kids how to say "Yesterday was Wednesday.", so ex-squeeze me if I was offended that my job description was literally to be a glorified parrot.

(Besides that, you would NOT believe how disorganized the Korean teaching system is.)

But now.... I just can't get over how lucky I am to hang out with kids for most of a day and get them to speak English.

How effing cool is that?

Things that I miss....

Top ___ (#) things I miss from home.... (List in progress.)

(Basically, it's Friday afternoon and I'm bored... Also, I might fall asleep if I don't write this.)

1. My parents - Duh! I have to have them as first, or my mom my kick my ass!

2. Hanging out with friends in any setting, but especially the good 'ol gang - Art openings... I miss them so -- especially the fun after!

3. The House on the Corner - Yes, I said it. I never thought I would. But I do. I miss it soooo very much. We had so many incredible/amazing/fun/hilarous/wild/retarded/weird times there... I've spent time there with everyone in my life that I love and cherish, from my love to my sister (who's in Ecuador now) to all my funderful, amazing friends. Yes, that house was a delapidated p.o.s that would probably fall if you breathed too hard, but I miss it. I miss all the fun we had in there. Damn, those were some good times.
I hope Rod remembers that crazy night (Think of: "I went to Cafe Artiste and had a salad, but I couldn't eat it.") and the idea he had-- save the House!! Save it and turn it into something glorious!!!!!!!!

4. Wendy's - Sometimes I can almost taste the crispy chicken sandwich with honey mustard in my mouth....... Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... Let's not even get into the fries.
(Sidenote: We went to McDonald's the other day and it was actually delish! I would never say that normally, but hey... Give me a break... I can only eat so much pork fat and kimchi.)

5. CVS/Walgreen's/Places where I can get random things at any hour of the night - Obvious reasons. Also, the fact that they are SOOOOOOOOO convenient. I miss them dearly.

6. Actual Mexican food, especially my mom's - Being Mexican and also being from a city with 5 trillion Mexican restaurants, I kind of need it to survive.
The only "Mexican" restaurant here is a disgrace... But, not bad for Koreans. It so happens to be called "El Paso", which is hilarious. And would also make my mom shudder.

7. The 'Trose - Ohhh! It was my home away from home in Houston. Besides all the hipsters, it's a great place and I miss it a lot.

8. Having water available where I live/work - Shame on me. Shame on me for NOT taking advantage of this when I had a chance back home.
Can you believe they don't have water fountains at any of my 4 schools?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Yeah, I can't either.
Besides dealing with constant dehydration, I am always f-ing thirsty.

9. Liqour/Spec's - The only affordable liqour here is 'soju', which tastes like watered-down vodka, and is actually made by mixing pure ethanol alcohol with water. It sucks. Liqour is expensive, especially in bars.... At most bars a bottle of tequila is about $100.

10. Greensheets - If you know me, you know what this is. Enough said.

11. My car - Didn't think I would need a car here, but turns out I do. Ha-f*#ing-ha.

12. Space - In every sense of the word. There's little to spare here.

13. Gay men/South Beach - I know this seems like a strange one, but I do miss the dancing and the fabulousness.

14. Comfortable beds - Koreans traditionally sleep on the floor, so their mattresses, of course, follow this.

15. Variety of food - I already mentioned that I miss the Mexican food, but there really is no other kind of food here... Ok, there is an Indian restaurant called 'Baghdad', but that's it. Ok, there's sushi, too... And Baskin Robbins.... And Dunkin Donuts (barf). I mean different kinds of ethnic food: Greek, Middle Eastern, ITALIAN(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), good pizza... etc.

16. Easy living - Duh.